So instead of saying "I have to sort those papers today" I can say to myself; "I can sort those papers today...""
I promise you, it feels waaaaay better to talk about it that way!
Then "I have to talk to my doctor" becomes "I need to talk to my doctor" or "I want to talk to my doctor". "I must write my cousin" becomes... "I want to write my cousin"
What does this do? Well it's part of an empowerment process... it changes my status from being a victim of circumstance to being an active agent choosing my focus.