#87 Have a Pity-Party

As you already know, I believe all chronic pain persons are survivors; we are strong, capable, amazing warriors. However, being a warrior does not mean we have to hold it together every second of the day. During my own journey, I realized I was doing myself more harm than good by keeping all my frustrations bottled up inside. At some point, we all need a moment to just throw our hands in the air and grieve!

This is why my mom and I use to throw mini “pity-parties.” While I did not have one every day, each day I did allot myself seven minutes to do whatever I wanted – scream, curse, cry, feel sorry for myself, you name it! Then, when the time was over, I was ready to focus on healing and living ... because at the end of the day, all we have is the here and now. Therefore, we need to enjoy this moment to the best of our ability.

Pity parties were very beneficial to me because it allowed me to have a moment to acknowledge the disease and its affects on my life. However, I did have rules. A pity party could not last longer than seven minutes, and at the end, I had to take a deep breath to let it all go and then laugh or smile. The most important part (which my mom and I did not add until a much later date) was for me to finish by saying, "I am healed."

At first, I only would say "I am healing," but my guided imagery practitioner did not like that. She said the energy you put out is what you create; as long as I kept saying, "I would heal" or "I am healing," the Universe would continue to make sure that I was doing just that: healing—but what I wanted was to be "healed." It took me some time to get used to saying "I was healed" because it felt wrong, but after awhile it became a normal part of my life. I started saying it in the mirror to myself every day, along with "I am beautiful, I am loved, I am strong," and when I would utter those magical words, I actually would feel my heart race and circulation pump.

I do recommend pity parties because they allow you to express what you need to, and then move forward. BUT you must let go of the anger/fear/despair after the seven minutes, and begin living for the moment again.

I am sending my best healing wishes to each of you. Keep your amazing resilience and know you are never alone. Together, we are going to find our light again.

Believing in Miracles,


  1. This is a great tip Nicole! I think we need to grieve and give space for the sorrow in order to heal and move forward. I don't know if I will remember this when I'm feeling really sorry for myself though, so I will ask my closest ones to remind me "Anna, maybe it's time for a pity party?" :)

  2. Oh how great. I like the time limit, and ending on a positive is so helpful to ourselves and those around us.