Sometimes life sucks and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do in order for it to get better. If you have lived with chronic pain as a big part of your life, you know the powerlessness, the frustration, the grief and the guilt that comes with it. Sitting inside on a sunny day when everyone else is out, again, clenching your teeth through the pain and counting the hours till you can take the next dose of medication without it losing effect.
I've realized that for things to get better, they usually need to get pretty bad first. And in order to get to the light at the surface and breathe fresh air, we may need to go really deep and reach bottom first. Because when we've reached bottom, we can get a good steady grip with our feet and kick our way back up.
Maybe it's true that we need to give up fighting before we can find real solutions. As long as we're "fighting to get well" we're not accepting all the help that's already around us... we can't even see it...
I think that all the solutions I needed were around me all the time while I was dealing with severe pain every day for 10 years, but I just couldn't see them. I had to reach bottom and give up fighting, get out of denial and start working with myself before I could find solutions and start building a healthy and happy life. And feeling like a victim and focusing on all the reasons why I could feel sorry for myself sure didn't help one little bit.
Someone once told me that whenever you put down your shovel and stop digging, that's when you reach bottom. And then you can start getting better. Maybe it's true?