For many of us this seems like the hardest thing to do. Even if you only have a few ounces of strength every day, you may find that you're using that energy on all the wrong things and you have little or nothing left to take care of yourself and tend to your own needs. If you're dealing with chronic illness, just a phone call can be quite draining and anything more is simply agonizing. If you often find yourself becoming resentful at other people's demands and expectations of you, it's time to take a closer look:
Are you setting clear boundaries?
It's very difficult to have a healthy relationship with a person who doesn't set boundaries, and it's nobody elses job to try to guess how you're feeling and constantly anticipate your needs. Nope. Sorry. It just doesn't work like that.
But setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to create a confrontation or conflict, the reason it feels so difficult is often just because we're not used to recognizing and respecting our own needs. We're not aware of what we want and don't want, so we project that insecurity, and then people can make unreasonable demands of us.
Start setting a boundary today, by finding out one thing that really matters to you and formulating a way to say that clearly. Maybe you need some time alone, or you really don't want to go on that planned outing today. How can you say that with the least possible drama, and without referring to your health condition?
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