#154 Use the Action Circle

This is a model for implementing a successful proactive approach that I have learned from Stefan & Marcus at Universe Imagine.

Basically it boils down to four steps:

1: Focus on what you WANT
2: Start DOING stuff that brings you closer to what you want
3: LEARN from the reactions and feedback you encounter as you start doing stuff
4: CHANGE your approach according to the feedback...

... and then you're back at 1 again, but with new insight and experience... so it continues:

1: You focus on what you WANT, (for example being able to make it through a whole day without your pain getting above level 7)
2: You DO stuff that can help you attain your goal, fx moderate movement, setting boundaries, pacing yourself, TENS treatment, meditation etc etc
3: If the pain still gets out of hand you review what you've done and LEARN from your experience and...
4: CHANGE your plans the next day to see if a slightly different approach will help you get closer to your goal.

That way you are working with CANI, constant and never-ending improvement, making gradual progress to meet your goals. It means you take action, learn from what happens, adjust your approach and gradually improving your current situation.

PS: now that my year as manager and coach at the creative project management school in Arvika is over, I've planned a week of project management related healing tips:) I've found this action oriented way of thinking really helpful when it comes to healing, and I want to share it with you!

#153 Be Proactive

yes yes I know.. it's one of those annoying old hype words that we have learned to hate.. but come on, have you ever thought how much power lies behind this clichéd catch phrase?

Check it out:
"...proactive behavior (or proactivity) by individuals refers to anticipatory, change-oriented and self-initiated behavior... Proactive behavior involves acting in advance of a future situation, rather than just reacting. It means taking control and making things happen rather than just adjusting to a situation or waiting for something to happen." (wiki)

Don't you think this makes for an excellent approach to healing!?

#153 Deal with difficult people

It's a definite part of everyone's life, we all have to deal with difficult people. Sometimes we ARE difficult people, and have a hard time dealing with ourselves:)

Dealing with difficult people takes practice, and often means listening without getting involved, which can be hard even if you have a healthy life. When your days are spent trying to get by with chronic pain you just don't have any excess time & energy to spend on people who make unreasonable demands on you. Learn the tricks, starting today!

I read this great column by Deepak Chopra in San Francisco Chronicle about this, so instead of repeating what he said I am just sharing the link: "How to deal with difficult people"

#152 Make big decisions...

... from the neck down

This is part of learning to listen to your body, which I think is a key element in learning to live with and overcome chronic disease and especially chronic pain.

Dealing with severe health problems we often face a lot of big decisions, decisions our brains (with their limited understanding and complex reasoning) have a tendency to over-complicate.
That's why I say:

Make big decisions from the neck down!

If you're in that sticky situation where you need to make a big decision, you've weighed the pro's and con's, talked to your loved ones and done your research.... why not shut off your mind and listen to what your body has to say about the matter?

You might be surprised at what sensations and feelings course through your body once you start doing this, and trust the answers you find. Test it on small issues first, like whether to go to that dinner or try that new holistic practitioner. How does your body feel when you think "Yes, I'll do it" ? Do you get a happy tingly joyful feeling or a dark pit in your stomach?

Maybe, in some cases, your body knows better than your brain?

#151 Say goodbye

I often spend a lot of time thinking about what I have to do, what I must do and what I should do... It really places a lot of stress on every day when I define my activities that way, that's why I propose saying farewell to should, must and have to and replacing them with:

can
want to
need

So instead of saying "I have to sort those papers today" I can say to myself; "I can sort those papers today...""

I promise you, it feels waaaaay better to talk about it that way!

Then "I have to talk to my doctor" becomes "I need to talk to my doctor" or "I want to talk to my doctor". "I must write my cousin" becomes... "I want to write my cousin"

What does this do? Well it's part of an empowerment process... it changes my status from being a victim of circumstance to being an active agent choosing my focus.