omg SPRING!!!

I walked underneath these cherry tree blossoms on my way to the office this morning... huge fluffy pink clouds of flowers... woooow :) reminds me that watching beautiful nature can provide pain relief. Now that summer is coming, I'm expecting - or hoping for - a significant decrease in muscle pain. 

As this has been a pretty bad winter pain-wise, I've been taking measures to take care of myself and get control of the pain spiral. Needing more rest, I've had to spend most of my energy on exercise, mental training and pain relief efforts. Apart from the cardio-workouts, frequent hot baths and cold showers, physical distraction, meditation, spiky rest on my endorphin producing accupressure mat, I've taken up morning yoga, and gone to some rather drastic measures when it comes to dietary changes (more about that later). 

Besides Kristine, my super-awesome PT who's helping me get in shape with a specialized training program, I have a new physiotherapist who is bullying me around these days. He's been zapping me for my posture and getting me started with the TENS unit again.

*phew* Living with a chronic ailment is pretty time consuming... and with three? Sometimes it seems like I hardly have time for anything else!

Building a pain-free life

The most important discovery I've made so far in my struggle with chronic pain, is that I have lots of options for pain relief. If I see my goal of having a life unrestricted by pain as a building project rather than as a race, I am free to choose different building blocks and combine them in various ways in order to find a combination that I am happy with.

Personally I don't believe in miracle cures any more. My first few years as a chronic pain patient I was desparate to find a cure and willing to try just about anything. Always hoping that this treatment, this operation or this medicine is finally going to make it all go away... and being disappointed time and time again. But as the years go by, I've tried hundreds of techniques and treatments and have gone through both good and bad periods. Now I have finally come to accept that sometimes it hurts more, sometimes less, sometimes I understand it but quite often I don't.

It's not a magic miracle cure I need, it's a lifestyle that lets me enjoy life whether I have pain or not.

Taking care of my health by doing the right things in my daily life is my preferred cure for chronic pain today. Eating habits, sleeping habits, exercise... essentially everything I do and how I do it. Each choice and each action is one small but vital piece in the structure I am building. They all count towards my pain prevention and when put together they can result in long periods where I am well-functioning and pain-free. Completely without drugs or tiring and expensive treatment.

This building project is both empowering and enlightening. For every building block I find that helps me improve my health and well being and reduce my pain I regain some of the power and some of the freedom that my chronic illness has taken away.

The source of the pain may still be there, but it doesn't affect me as much anymore.

Pain-free tip: Move to a warm climate...?

I can sympathize with this mammut. Living with RA + having about half a pound of steel in my spine makes winter a challenging time to say the least. I'm visiting my native Norway this week and there are still several feet of snow here, while in Gothenburg 3 hours south all the snow and ice melted several weeks ago - but it's still cold as #&%. Sometimes I wish I could live in a warm climate, without having to leave my home, family and friends.

Maybe I'm a bit slow, but it actually took me several years living with RA before I realized that generally, every year, winter was tough with a lot of pain and stiffness and summer was better.  Now I've been even slower in realizing that maybe, perhaps, I should take this into account when making plans! It's not particularly smart to plan intense periods of activity (like launching a book and moving house) during the part of year when I have more pain. Basically it's a great way of wasting spoons.

Ok, so theoretically, living further south would be good for my pain, but I don't want to be a "climate refugee". But this year I can plan smarter, by doing fun and active stuff during summer to build my strength, and planning for a calmer less active winter season with at least 2 weeks holiday in a warm climate somewhere in the darkest months.

Doesn't actually sound so difficult, so maybe I won't have to end up like poor Uncle Hector and get caught in the ice.

Either way, I find the pain isn't half as frustrating when I understand why it's there. Then it's easier to accept the ups and downs and choose a strategy.

Paying the price of enthusiasm...

Ten days of level 6-9 pain after one botched pilates class... what's up with that?! It's been a gnawing constant ache in my neck and upper back for the last week, inflammation? Overstretching? I don't know what it is, only that whatever it was that went wrong has set off my old pain so now I'm right in the middle of a strong flare.

I went to the doctor - new doctor in my new hometown - and apart from telling me that neck pain is a typical "woman problem" he didn't offer much help. I'm now quickly losing faith in all drug-free forms of pain relief and wishing there was something more radical I could do.

This is typically depressing, I was doing so well with new excercise, but now it's hard to push myself to do very much at all. I just want to be more like this...

and less like this...

So that's my news for now. Sorry for the depressing attitude, but I've said I wanted to "increase awareness about chronic pain" and this is the real deal... Seems like I'll be heading for a pain clinic in my new home country soon. I hope they don't have as long waiting lists as they do in Norway!

A painful day at the gym

This year's experiment: "Just how pain-free can I get?" is taking an interesting turn. I'm not very happy with the Omega-3 for inflammation relief experiment, but the "getting in shape" experiment is progressing nicely.

After being "good" for two weeks, working out 3 times a week while pacing myself and not doing too much, I seem to have reached a rather dangerous point in the journey. I've had pretty good effect of this experiment, the pain has been better, I am getting in shape and enjoying the exercise.

Now I can either get lazy or get reckless.

Getting lazy is quite natural, as soon as the pain gets better I forget why it's so important to keep moving and stay in shape... Getting reckless is probably just part of my enthusiastic nature, "YAY! I have no pain, now I can lift just as heavy weights as I could before I got RA and broke my back!!"

On Friday I got kind of carried away and optimistically joined a pilates class. Having heard nice things about the pilates instructor at my gym I thought it would be nice, soft, core training... bouncing on a pilates ball and smiling with happy people.

Turns out that was the other pilates instructor...

The class I walked into was led by a fast paced french lady who bossed us around with a manner not unlike a drill sergeant. After 20 minutes of being whipped from one impossible position to the next, I was fast regretting my choice of activity, but unfortunately there were 19 sweaty people between me and the door... and they looked strong!

My choices were simple:

1. Pick up my mat and thread my way past all the strong and sweaty people to get to the door in a demonstrative show of defiance...
2. Try to hide behind the potted plant in the corner and pray that the scary instructor didn't see me... or:
3. Play along and look like I was doing the exercises even though I wasn't able to do hardly any of them

I chose option 3, and now for three days I have been paying the price of that decision. I hurt in muscles I didn't know I had! Maybe I got some exercise, but I'm not actually sure it was worth it... *phew*... really need to work on the "pace myself" part...