It was when I had stopped fighting that I realized there must be another way to overcome my health problems. Strangely enough... when I quit trying to force my will on the circumstances around me to shape them the way I wanted, things actually moved along pretty smoothly. Maybe not always in the direction I was planning or expecting (moving to Arvika?!!!) but as things turned out, usually a lot better than what I could have come up with myself.
The back surgeons in Norway had given up on me, and when I gave up fighting, a Swedish surgeon turned up out of the blue and had the solution. I couldn't work because of my disability, but then I got a pension and was able to pursue my healing and writing full time. From there on it started getting better.
Some smart person proceeded to tell me that maybe there's a natural rhythm underlying all these things, and maybe I'm part of something bigger. She said that maybe if I relax and just follow the flow I'll get to where I'm going without bumping my head in all the rocks and driftwood along the riverbed. I won't have to fight to be on the "right" side of the stream, or spend all my strength trying to swim against the current. Maybe I'm always on the "right" side of the stream, all I have to do is accept my present circumstances?
Of course that sounded slightly over-zen to me, but at the same time it rang true!
Just watch out for those backwater eddies!!! There
ReplyDeletemay be crocodiles there!