Healthy people may say to "follow your dream" and be all positive about it, but if you're homebound, maybe wheelchair-bound and suffering from intense chronic pain that just feels like a slap in the face. But us chronic patients are entitled to dream too. Maybe we can't follow them all, right here and right now, but we can still nourish them and keep them alive.
When we are healthy, its normal to have dreams of traveling, getting an education, career successes, maybe having a family. After we become seriously injured or chronically ill, these dreams are still with us, but may seem impossible to reach, and so become a source of sadness instead of motivation and a spur to action. That's when it's easy to give up entirely, and become entrenched in a passive patient mentality where you are your diagnosis and little else.
Today I keep my dreams alive by feeding them little tidbits of hope and inspiration, even in the darkest times. That trip to the mountains that I was too weak for the last time? It's going to happen! In the meantime I'm feeding my dream with cut outs from hiking magazines and recipes for blister remedies.
This entry reminds me about my mom. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) 20 years ago, when I was five. She was always very independent and adventurous, traveling around the world on her own and doing other fun things, and she refused to let the diagnosis stop her. When I was seven and thirteen we traveled to Spain, by bus. A 38 hours long trip, that not everyone would do, and my mom was partly bound to her wheelchair and had constant pain! She told me after our trips that she once considered getting of the bus in Germany cause the pain was too bad. But she stayed and we had a great vacation, with quite fun anecdotes to tell afterward. My mom never stopped dreaming and showed that things are possible, and I admire her for that!
ReplyDeleteWow, that's amazing Emma... Like you say, it may be painful and extremely strenous, but a journey like that can give memories that adds to your joy-account for years and years. Thank you for sharing your experience!
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