After my third severe traffic injury I sat down and had a serious chat with God (whom I did not believe in at the time, so as you maybe understand: I was running out of options). I remember shouting something like:
Why do these things keep happening to me???!
to the universe.
In pure frustration I sat down with a pen and a legal pad, and wrote the years of my life in the left hand column from 0 to my (then) current age of 25, and filled in every accident and health problem I knew I had been through: Age 0: Colic & eczema (my poor parents...) Age 1: fell down flight of stairs. Age 8: bicycle accident, broke left hand, Age 9: deep cut left foot, 7 stitches. Age 11: Bronchitis. Age 13: Scleroderma circumstances left side of back. Age 15: Riding accident, broke right hand, deep scalp cut, 5 stitches. Age 18: tendinitis right hand. Age 19 tendinitis both arms. Age 20 Arthritis, Age 21 fractured spine. etc...
Then in the next column I wrote other major life changes and important experiences: When I started or changed schools, big moves, changes in my family, relationships etc.
I'm sure the resulting pages were completely unintelligible for anyone else, but for me
it was the most illuminating map ever. The scribbled columns on those pages showed the story of my health from my birth to the present moment. By getting it all down on paper like that, just the facts, not my feelings about them, I began seeing a pattern. That pattern may not have been obvious to anyone else on the planet, but it was to me. I started understanding that what was happening to me followed some kind of logic, just not the logic I had been trained to understand. It made sense to me. And the map that was my health-story helped me find a way to break the pattern.
I'm sure your story is different from mine, and your health-story may not make sense to anyone else either. But maybe it can make sense to you, and maybe you will be able to find a logic that can help you break your pain pattern.
